Let me be the first to tell you, you're being offensive when you tell someone something like, "you look sick", that's kinda implying you don't look well. Well thanks for reminding me how horrible I look right now. You have no idea how bad I feel. But thanks for reminding me that I look tired, or I look sick. I appreciate it.
It's also not cool to question someone who is sick but doesn't look it. I didn't know that being sick came with a "look". I am tired all the time, yes I'm sure I look tired a lot but I don't need reminded. Yes, I'm sick a lot but whether or not I look sick, I don't need reminded that I look sick.
I deal so often with people in my life telling me these offensive things. I'm sick. Yes, I'm going to be sick the rest of my life. It literally takes me to do nothing for me to feel tired all the time. I have learned to deal with it. Naps don't help me, they honestly make me feel worse. Sometimes I am so tired that when I try to go to sleep at night, I can't. Therefore I am up half the night and even more tired the next day. Right now, as I am writing this, I am tired. I was so beyond tired last night it was unreal. I believe I slept all night too. I don't remember waking up at all. Whether or not I did, I just don't remember. I have periods of insomnia and I have periods where I am so tired that I am out for the night and pray my kids don't wake me up for something and I'm not able to function.
So just remember before you open your mouth and remind someone of how sick they look, don't say it. And in the reverse if someone is sick and don't look it, don't remind them they don't look sick, it doesn't help.
You don't look like you're in pain, they say. If only you could be me right now and realize JUST how much pain I'm truly in, that would be great for me to have a moment without pain and you can just go ahead and deal with my head to toe pain. Thanks.
You didn't even do anything, how are you tired? Let me just tell you, I didn't do anything to deserve to have Lupus or the symptoms that come with it. It doesn't matter if I sleep all day or go run a marathon, not that that would be ideal right now with this, but the fact is, it doesn't matter how much I do or don't do, I can wake up from a "good" night's sleep tired. Nothing helps, not even naps.
You're just lazy. No, it's called being in constant head to toe pain, that's what it is. Not laziness. I do what I can on a daily basis depending on my pain. I can't force myself to do more than my body will allow.
Just remember, Lupus is what they would consider an "invisible" disease. Everything happens inside your body... but a lot of diseases and illnesses do. Just because you don't know someone has Lupus, don't judge them. This is not easy to talk about for a lot of people. Lupus is a deadly disease and like most people battling cancer, Lupies don't just come out and tell everyone I have...
Just think before you speak. Don't be offensive! Your comments don't help those hurting.